As an ADHD Coach for over eight years, I have met parents who felt lost in what they could do to improve their child’s behaviour. Whether it was having their child listen to them as they reminded them yet again of an unstarted or unfinished task, there was often frustration for both parent and child. Could someone else get through to them?
For many of these children, I might be one of many people they have been taken to. The hope is that they will be able to listen, do their homework, and do their chores without someone forever reminding them.
The shift in my approach was realizing that fixing kids was not the answer. They were never broken! Instead, it was about providing parents with the tools and resources to understand and support their neurodiverse child. This change came when I completed the first Shanker Self-Reg® Foundations course at the MEHRIT Centre. This approach involves helping parents begin a journey of becoming more aware and learning why and how to reframe behaviour.
In recent years, every parent I have worked with arrives in the first session frustrated and overwhelmed. Through listening and empathy, I help them navigate their challenges, by providing insights into parenting neurodiverse children. Often, I am the first person they have talked to who understands the challenges of raising a neurodiverse brain.
Introducing Self-Reg® techniques is crucial. We talk about Domain Stressors. We talk about the impact of energy depletion. Then we look at the five steps of Self-Reg®: Reframe, Recognize, Reduce, Reflect and Restore. We might look at the Thayer Matrix to give them another tool to use on their journey. Through practice they begin to shift perspective. Parents understand better how the ADHD brain works. They understand how the ADHD brain is affected by stress that may be hidden or obvious. There is a why. There is a reason.
That is the message I want to spread: Shift your expectations, let go of the old, unhelpful beliefs, and join the Self-Reg® journey. Are you ready to join me?
If you are interested in learning more about Self-Reg® and the impact it can have on your life or your child’s life, please contact [email protected]. You can also learn more about CanLearn’s coaching services here!
Laura Godfrey, ACC, CACP
Certified ADHD Life Coach at CanLearn Society